Teachers at Northfield Mount Hermon met this week to work through concerns about equity and justice raised by our faculty of color. While at times difficult, the honest conversation opened up some previously blocked avenues for healing. I wrote the following as a continuation of that conversation. Hello all. I’m very glad that I [more…]
Improvisation and Spirituality: A Personal and Collaborative Inquiry
My friend and colleague Cort Worthington and I were delighted to offer this inaugural Improvisation and Spirituality workshop at the Green Gulch Zen Center in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. We came with some provocative questions and exercises to get us rolling and the group dove in with full commitment to find all [more…]
Cruising Toward Community
I wouldn’t normally consider myself a cruise ship vacation kind of guy. Overabundant opulence with a dash of seasickness tossed in? A confined setting where entertainment options run from smoky casino to overpriced spa? Descending upon destination harbors with hordes of other pasty-faced travelers to be met by pushy vendors selling questionably authentic goo-gaws? Toss [more…]
A Curious Resolution
Historically, I’ve considered curiosity among the list of core virtues. I’m drawn to those who demonstrate the quality; I aim to cultivate it in myself. When we wonder—or wander—about the world with open, welcoming eyes, we see differently. Life gains a vitality, a playfulness, a sense of possibility. Curiosity leads us to learn, to grow, [more…]
A Positive-Minded Primer on Punishment and Reinforcement–with a Buddhist Twist (Part 2 of 2)
[This is the second half of a two-part post. Part 1 can be found here.] Negative Reinforcement (R-) makes a wanted behavior more likely by taking away or reducing something the learner does not enjoy. It “eliminates an aversive,” as they say in the field. In this sense, it’s a kind of relief from unpleasantness. [more…]
A Positive-Minded Primer on Punishment and Reinforcement–with a Buddhist Twist (Part 1 of 2)
People often misunderstand positive reinforcement because those of us who espouse and employ the technique can get sloppy with our definitions. As we’ve discussed before, for example, the “positive” in positive reinforcement need not mean ‘happy,’ ‘kind,’ or ‘joyful.’ It simply means “added in,” as in the reinforcer added in to make a behavior more [more…]
4 Reasons We Avoid Our Inner Knowing–and 7 Things We Can Do About It
In you are natural powers. You already possess everything necessary to become great. –Chief Crow The above quotation hangs over the sink in our kitchen, a quiet touchstone for a truth so easily forgotten. It’s a message I want to pass along to every young person (and adult) I work with. It’s also a [more…]
Kohn of Uncertainty: Raising Questions About How to Raise Kids (or Why Positive Reinforcement Might Not Be All It’s Cracked Up to Be)
I’ve just started reading Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason and I can already tell it will stir my pot. Kohn has no love for positive reinforcement. Quite the opposite, he considers it both dangerous and destructive. Given my investment in the topic and my eagerness to examine [more…]
The Death Show: A Perspective-Giving Production
This past weekend, my partner Melissa and I attended The Death Show (A Recital), an intriguing community theater production in Hudson, New York. Simultaneously provocative, poignant, peace-giving, harrowing, and hilarious, the evening has left me thinking about the impact of death in my life—and how to bring its air-clearing quality into my classroom more purposefully. [more…]
Queen of the Hill: Punishment or Principled Practice?
In general as a coach, I choose to avoid using punishment as a motivator. The method reeks of domination, intimidation, and fear, all of which poison the waters of learning. While punishment may sometimes ‘succeed’ in the short term—it also breeds resentment and disenchantment. Even then, as my friend and colleague Luca Canever points [more…]
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