Coping with a wounded heart can be tough, but mindfulness and improvisation principles and practices can help. In this episode, Ted and Lisa process Ted’s meteoric rise-and-fall romantic connection (2:33), preparing with a little levity in an opening game of Three Things (6:28). Ted recounts the good times and the stunning news of reversal (9:56) before sharing his cycle of five feelings while waiting for further clarity (18:30). The pair discuss Kahlil Gibran’s image of joy and sorrow (23:09) and ask what’s the wise best choice to make when we get attached to someone (26:31). Ted briefly outlines four helpful questions for starting a new connection (29:15) before he and Lisa continue on the question of attachment (30:47). Lisa asks if Ted would choose differently, knowing what he now knows (38:08); he acknowledges that it’s tough to stop momentum once it’s moving (43:33). They close by sharing how poetry and music can help us stay open-hearted in such aching times (45:24). Stick around for the bonus track if you want to hear one of Ted’s original songs that provides some comfort during times of heartbreak (58:04).
As always, please send a note, question, or comment if you feel so inspired: email@example.com. Thanks so much for listening—we love you all!
I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for
may for once spring clear
without my contriving.
If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.
Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,
streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.
–Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours (translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy)
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San Francisco improvisors Ted DesMaisons and Lisa Rowland explore the beautiful, surprising and unruly intersections between mindfulness and improvisation as they seek to befriend that oft-hidden and sometimes scary part of all of us that can lead to a life well-lived.