100 Funny Names: A Shabbat Brainstorm

Spontaneous Broadway invites goofy characters.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of celebrating Shabbat dinner with my dear friends, Michael and Julie Saxe-Taller, their son Sam, and a host of other delightful people. After lighting candles and enjoying our dinner, we spent much of the evening playing improv games: word-at-a-time interviews, 1-2-3 timing challenges, and the like. Throughout the night, we generated a steady stream of laughs, many times more then enough to make me wanna challah.

The gathered party also helped me brainstorm for today’s Spontaneous Broadway Musical. The premise of the show, a culmination of a four-week seminar my classmates and I have been taking, is that each of us plays a hopeful producer going before a crowd of ‘investors’ (whose roles, in this case, are filled by the audience). We’ll each pitch an improvised song—with titles generated by the audience and written on slips of paper—as if it were a centerpiece tune for a show we’re trying to get produced. We’ll take whichever musical number wins the most investor votes and, then, during our intermission break, learn it well enough that we can reprise it during the second half of our show when we improvise the entire musical that contains that song. Other than the reprised song, of course, this will all be created on the spot.

How do you brainstorm for an improvised show, you ask? That’s a fine question. Each of the players needs to come up with a name for the producer we’re playing and a bit of a backstory to his or her quest to secure that angel funding. I wanted to find a playful name, one that gave me a bit of character and could generate a laugh or two on its own. Once we started building a list, we almost literally couldn’t stop for all the doubling over we were doing. Of the many fine possibilities we had, I ended up choosing the name ‘Yusuf Mechstremides.’ Here’s his “bio”:

Yusuf Mechstremides hails from the vibrant Muslim community of Athens, Greece, where, as a child actor, he launched his stage career in the classic tradition of Greek theater. He moved to the states with his family and gained both pity and notoriety when he went missing for a short time, spurring his father to wail on local news broadcasts “How could I have lost Yusuf Mechstremides?” He has since nurtured the seed of his creative vision off-Broadway and hopes that your investment will bring a full bloom to Allah his roses.

Check out our full lists below and see what you think—maybe you’ll come up with a few others we should add in.

MALE NAMES

1. Ivan Ocean
2. Gray Veenbiscuit
3. Pete Dowmapantz
4. Michael Rhode-Beaudujour
5. Frank Einstein
6. Sam Inrun
7. Noah Chanzinella
8. Stan Dandeliffer
9. Bob Anweef
10. Sean Ingstar
11. Saul Agott
12. Abel Enwilling
13. Tom Katz
14. Justin Sufferable
15. Phil O’Dendron
16. Juan Abougeia
17. Paul Barer
18. Allen D’Affammalee
19. Joe Mama
20. Marty Graw
21. Rudy Mendary
22. Warren Peace
23. Ty Wanon
24. Chris P. Fryar
25. Ray Zanettra
26. Ron Dayvoo
27. Nelson LaFleur
28. Ari Tharyet
29. Flip Mehoff
30. Scott Wuddynedes
31. Don Pitzmioff
32. Deron d’Run
33. Les Izmoor
34. Win Turkhold
35. Andy Gestion
36. C.U. Sondheim
37. Howard de Kitts
38. Omar Havens
39. Leif Malone
40. Amal Ayers
41. Skip D’Emmalieu
42. Lance Boyle
43. Vic Szvayberub
44. Horace Tawadder
45. Paul Yesterpantz
46. Ollie Kingsmen
47. Lou Scannon
48. Aaron Speights
49. Kanye Bleefit
50. Willie Orwoney

FEMALE NAMES

1. Isadora Jarr
2. Lisa Newcar
3. Sarah D’Octernhaus
4. Heather Gray
5. Mary Christmas
6. Deb Yoo
7. Jen DeNeutral
8. Sasha Boggan
9. Nona Yubizzniss
10. Sam Nella
11. Yvonne Tusuq-Yablud
12. Nadia Curl
13. Marion Kind
14. Ida Hopeseau
15. Dawn-Erin DeCornier (and her twin sister Jess-Rhonda)
16. Misty Maynor
17. Ellen Bach
18. Rita Book
19. Eve Ayevva
20. Polly Graf
21. Tiff O’Dacapp
22. Bertha Von Asian
23. Anita Drenk
24. Diane Tusilla
25. Mona Sterry
26. Eden Witherspoon
27. Wendy Dewitt
28. Theresa Kraut
29. Bonnie Longtime
30. Carrie Ohn (the wayward one)
31. Samantha Thai-Love
32. Kendra Geddawidness
33. Gemma Sanjoules
34. Emily Van Displace
35. Roxanne Stones
36. Cassie Myzerburning
37. Sheryl Dudat
38. April Showers
39. Roo McGrow
40. Megan Love
41. Phoebe Jamin
42. Hannah Tuyah
43. Tory Ligament
44. Sheila Havanudder
45. Vera Toodarite
46. Helena Handbasket
47. Lizzie Hawitgohs
48. Bea Mann
49. Zoe Sesame
50. Melissa Enzeer